Crunk! July 14, 2010

[Things you need to know to understand this post: 1 - Hermione and her friends (and now me - creep much?  c|;oP) use the expressions "worst life," which means something super-shit, and "best life," which means something super-cool.  2 - Hermione and I are preoccupied with inventing new awesome smilies, and we are actually really [...]

They know what we get up to… July 14, 2010

Ana got balsamic vinegar on my pale pink t-shirt, so my best friend got out the Stain Devils and got on the case (successfully – GO BF!) The bottle of stain remover  has a list of stuff that it will get out of your clothes, which reads like they’ve been standing outside your house at [...]

They don’t work the way you think they do. July 14, 2010

My friend Ana just kind of moved in, because the place she was staying before was FUCKED like woah. While we were packing up all her stuff and stuffing it into bags she went “Here, do you want this?” and gave me a fucking AWESOME black leather Michael Kors skirt  . Anyway. So now we’re [...]

Texts, Hermione, 9 July 2010 July 10, 2010

From me to Hermione 9 July 2010, 15.28 Should I invite Ellie (the one who’s marrying a fugly dude because a fortune teller told her to) to my party? From Hermione to me 9 July 2010, 15.29 Definitely yes. I want to meet her so badly. Tell her to bring the fugly dude with her. [...]

Ahahahahahahahaha! July 4, 2010

My best friend, our crazy acquaintance and I are sitting in the garden talking about body image. My best friend has a thing about her nose, because her mother always makes negative comments about it (wtf – she is really pretty and her nose is awesome). My best friend is musing on whether her mother [...]

What’s it good for? July 4, 2010

I was lying in the garden with my best friend, looking at celebrity magazines and bitching. There was a picture of a woman in a belly-dancing class, so I asked my best friend, “What’s the point of belly-dancing classes?” She made an exasperated sound and went, “God, who knows? I have no idea.” So I [...]

Family loyalty. May 11, 2010

We have some regular customers at the restaurant who work just down the road. I like them, probably because I see them all the time and they aren’t dicks. M owns the company and D, who is his brother, works there too. I really don’t know what it is that they do – it’s something [...]

The Deadliest Warrior. May 5, 2010

Josh, who is the deadliest warrior at the restaurant, is leaving.  For the past couple of months he has been my BFF at work, so I am a bit WTF about it. Josh is possibly the bamfiest BAMF that ever bamfed. He has so much speed and agility that even if his shield was made [...]

My kind of wine writer. April 28, 2010

We’re changing the wine list at the restaurant, and after we closed on Monday my boss got a bottle of one of our new rosès out of the cellar for us to try. He poured himself a glass and had a bit, and then went “Mmmm, I REALLY like that,” and then passed the glass [...]

“Mojito Fizz.” April 7, 2010

I had some really good news from the bank today: I’d thought that my overdraft was going to expire in the middle of this month, which would have fucked me up badly. I was really worried. But I went to see them and as it turned out I was totally wrong! I can happily live [...]