My friend Ana just kind of moved in, because the place she was staying before was FUCKED like woah. While we were packing up all her stuff and stuffing it into bags she went “Here, do you want this?” and gave me a fucking AWESOME black leather Michael Kors skirt .
Anyway. So now we’re sitting in the kitchen and drinking a £6.99 bottle of shiraz (yeah!) to celebrate her escape and talking about the flip-flops that my best friend is wearing – they’re her brother’s and she’s extolling their virtues: apparently they’re really comfortable. Ana wants to talk about flip-flops, specifically those flip-flops that allegedly make you lose weight by changing the way you walk or something. She hates them. “People are fucking retarded – they’re so fucking gullible. The company that makes them sent me a pair for free.” Ana is a fashion journalist and she gets free stuff quite a lot. Her tone becomes increasingly outraged: “They are so fucking uncomfortable. I mean if they do work, it’s only because they hurt so much that you’re in too much pain to get up and walk to food.”
